During my first two rounds of chemotherapy, I discovered chemobrain is a real thing. Besides the fact that you are in a stressful period. Some studies show that it has some effect on your brain. And that simple decisions or a too-stimulating environment are challenging.

The first time chemobrain surprised me was when I went for a short walk to our market. Every Wednesday I go to our cheese stand and get a nice block of cheese. Do I need to remind you I am Dutch? This time besides the usual “jong belegen” I wanted to get a nice cheese to treat myself. But the options were so overwhelming. I had a complete shutdown. And I had my wife pick a mustard cheese. It was delicious.

In the weeks after I noticed similar patterns. And if I have to explain it. It’s like ordering chips vs ordering ice cream. As a kid, if you wanted chips you had 2 options. Paprika or “gewoon (normal)”. But if you get an ice cream you can pick from 20+ flavours. And with chemobrain, those options are too overwhelming.

The things that work well for me is to order more chips and less ice cream. Make decisions yes/no. And break it down in steps. And if I’m still overwhelmed? Step away and either let someone else make the decision or use chemobrain as an excuse.

The process is all about respecting your new boundaries. And if you push through, it will bite you in the ass at a later moment. It’s hard to accept that you need to step down from things that you could do before. But it’s even harder if you don’t do it, and drain yourself mentally and physically.

Cover photo: The wide variety of options to pick from an ice cream shop.